Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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