just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize