let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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