So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
