Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
