they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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