Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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