I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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