we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
