she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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