hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
