You're my little dorito
the day after is always just damage control
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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