no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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