Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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