I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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