Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
