i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
