Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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