went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
