My first STD was from a foam party
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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