I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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