she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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