Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize