My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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