But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize