we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
