Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
