my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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