HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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