so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize