Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
