He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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