Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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