member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
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