six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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