I'm gonna have a badass scar
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Every concussion has its silver lining
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
