You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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