Please, let me fuck your mom
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
