I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
