at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize