yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
