She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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