You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
