My nipple is on Facebook.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
