whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
