I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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