You can't motorboat a personality
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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