mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
