That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize