Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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