she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
