Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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