am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
