I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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