It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
