i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
