You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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