what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
