So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've blown a few things in my day
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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