I think I won the penis lottery.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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