before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
