i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We talked him into tasing himself.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
