I'm lost and stupid without you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
