i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
