just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
