Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize