I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
