you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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